Tuesday 16 January 2018

Thoughts on - Star Wars - The last Jedi (Spoilers)

Hi all,
          I have finally got around to seeing Star Wars Episode 8. The characters and acting - you do what you can with what you have been given, but no obvious flaws in the mix.

First off - The Imperial Dreadnaught, with all the conceptual artists Disney have up their collective sleeve, is a copy of the B2 Spirit the best design that they could come up with? Just lazy.

          Secondly, speaking of copies, the abandoned base, looked like another ringer for Hoth. I suppose there are a lot of icy bodies out there to play and/or get killed on. Why did they have that humongous door on the front that reached to the top of the cliff, it only needed to be a bit taller than the opening, then it could have been a lot thicker and therefore survive longer. A bad design.

           Thirdly - The pitiful ground defence force, more pod racing anyone? Disney rehashing old scenes yet again. A quote from one of the defenders - "They're picking us off one by one". You sound surprised by that, what would you be doing in their place. That's what you are trying to do to them, too.

           Fourthly - Over to our loveable Luke for a bit. For 30-some years, he has been sitting on a rock, picking his nose, skimming rocks into the sea, that sort of thing, while the Galaxy, in general, has been going to hell in a handbasket. OK, he failed with Kylo, (sob), but he could still have been out there doing some good. Think of all the lives he could have saved to swell the ranks of the resistance and given hope to others. Did he cut himself off from the force so he would not have to feel the shimmers in the force all night?

           Gripe number five, what was the point in destroying the Jedi Holy relics? Luke even lost his bottle doing that, Yoda had to show him how to do it properly. Now that they are destroyed, what are the caretakers going to do with themselves, now that their whole reason for existence has gone up in smoke and cinders? They might as well jump off the cliff like lemmings.

          Moan number six, I give you the Penguins. Ahhhhh.......What was the point of them, apart from you could have a laugh when Our Chewie barbecued one. He should have known better. He should be put on a charge at least. It brings a whole new meaning to "Friendly Fire".
          Why did the little guy not say, "Please do not eat me" before the dastardly deed was done?. The same goes for the Ice Foxes, Why did they run to the base and not just scatter, they were only there to show them the way out. "Oh no, We're trapped and doomed, but wait, let's follow sparkles for a laugh".

         Gossip corner number seven, had Jimmy Vee (who was inside R2) upset the writers? To say he had a bit part was an understatement, blink and you would have missed him. He was only in it to prod Luke's conscience, its a pity he was not in the X-wing when Luke came to the island and do it a long time ago. Why had Yoda not given him a serious talking to about his responsibilities earlier? Or grannie Leia for that matter, at least Rey gave him an ear bashing.

That mostly covers it. The Special effects are where the money went, not on advancing the storyline. Disney has ignored the legions of fans and pitched it at the wider audience out there. They have got to pull a mighty big rabbit out of the bag (Harvey sized rather than Bugs) to come up with a suitable ending with the minuscule amount of Rebel forces they have left, "To the Outer Rim we go looking for wannabe Jedi, or at least some help." (Guardians of the Galaxy perhaps, once they have helped out with the Avengers?).

Provisional titles for Episode 9 - "No Hope - No Glory?"
                                                      "To Jedi or not to Jedi?"
                                                      "One used Lightsabre, Going cheap."
                                                      " 'alllo Leia, gotta a new Padawan?"
                                                      "Oh no, not that again?"

Rating - 3 out of 10.

Ivor